Squid Jerky

This was one of those items, when it arrived I thought "I have to eat THIS!?" Seems like a very awkward flavor and texture combination, and I'm really not sure how they'll make squid work. But I have to trust the Japanese, time and time again they've made the impossible shine. So maybe this'll work after all! After all the texture of squid is not too far off from that of jerky. Combine that with being made so close to the ocean with freshly caught seafood and maybe there's a recipe for success.

Aand once again I'm questioning my decision to try this. Not only does this jerky look like it was peeled straight off a squid, but it smells incredibly fishy. Like, reminds me of being by the California beaches, which is pleasant, but also brings back a lot of memories of the pungent smells there. Do I really want to eat this? Well I'm a wolf and as such I'm told to not waste any food, so here we go...

Okay nope. I can't. Not only is this so chewy I can't bite a piece out of it, but the flavor is possibly even more pungent than the smell. I could just put the entire thing in my mouth but I really don't want to even have the flavor in my mouth for that long. It straight up tastes like rotten fish and saltwater, and I ain't no bear, I don't do that. I really tried, but then I started to gag, so... this one's a no-go. If you're really into really fishy tasting squid and like jerky then maybe give this a go... but otherwise I'd stay far away. I thought this would be okay since I like calimari but this is far away from most prepared squid products.

Rating: 1 - Awwwrrrr...

Konnyaku Jelly Stick

When I saw this I was thinking "oh no just a jelly stick?" After all, I already tried those and this one doesn't even appear to have a flavor. Or does it? This one is unique in that it is not made with gelatin, but instead konnyaku, which is a gelatin-like substance made from the konjac plant, which is... a potato? This is weird. How does potato become jelly? I guess we'll find out.

I can already praise this jelly stick over the other ones because I was able to open it without getting my paws sticky! The strip was in a reasonable place this time, so good job. The sniff test results in a slight lime flavor, which makes sense because konnyaku is mixed with lime water in the process. But what is the flavor of this alone? Who knows. It does have zero calories, so maybe even nothing. I'm getting kind of a mint smell too, which worries me, because this pup does not like mint. Easiest way to have me tuck my tail in.

Already I can see this is different. It didn't spill anywhere because it is more solid than gelatin based jelly, I had to bit off a chunk instead of squeezing the whole thing into my mouth. But despite the smell, this really doesn't have a flavor. Or any sweetness. Why did someone make this again? I might as well be drinking water, or breathing. The texture isn't even that exciting. I have no idea why any person would ever buy this or enjoy this. It's not a terrible taste, it's just... nothing. I kept biting off jelly bits in hopes of having some flavor, but I really never got anything. Just a slight hint of the minty and lime-y smell. I'm utterly baffled. Konnyaku could have it's purpose as a flavor sponge, but by itself it's entirely a waste of your time. Silly humans, when we go on the hunt we never come back with flavorless food.

Rating: 1 - Awwwrrrr...